‘All in your head’

Marie Stroughter hosts the “MoMo 634” podcast — short for motivational moments and Matthew 6:34 ­— offering a daily dose of affirmation and inspiration from Scripture for those who live with mental illness.

Stoughter attends the Westside Church of Christ in Killeen, Texas, where her husband, Sebastian, is an elder.

In Episode 115 of The Christian Chronicle podcast, Stroughter spoke about her personal battle with mental health issues and how Christians can better serve and love those with similar struggles.

Irwin: Tell me about how your understanding of mental health and mental illness has changed or developed through the years.

Stroughter: I’m 60 … so parents, caregivers around me, it was kind of the “suck it up and lift yourself up by your own bootstrap” sort of generation, and that wasn’t very helpful for me. I was a bit of a handful, so I needed a little bit more support than that.

So I think having come from that experience where I didn’t get exactly what I needed from those around me — because I don’t think they were able to do that culturally — I think that led me to me speaking out more.

Marie Stroughter sits at her podcasting setup.

Irwin: I’m 49, so people that were a little closer to my age, there’s kind of this thing where, “Well, you should have the joy of the Lord and the peace that passeth understanding. You ought to be able to pray this away.” Did you ever get that kind of pressure, too, from well-meaning Christians?

Stroughter: That statement is probably the one that made me the angriest and had me speaking out. … If you think about it, we don’t say that to people with cancer. We don’t say that to people with heart conditions, or that have mobility issues, or that are suffering dementia.

And would prayer help those situations? Of course, prayer helps every situation. However, I think people who have mental health issues probably pray more than anyone else because of that mental load, that masking, trying to do it all.

Related: Editorial: It’s OK to not be OK, but don’t suffer alone

Irwin: So how have you worked through this? And how has God led you through this?

Stroughter: That verse, “My grace is sufficient for you,” I take as my verse. I really do believe that God does work with imperfect people. He has always worked through imperfect people because there is no one who is perfect.

But, you know, I was talking to my youngest son who has ADHD, and we were talking about, in some ways, it’s kind of like a superpower. There are some blessings in this condition. … I did adopt my two youngest children, and both of them do have mental health conditions, and so I think it was when we adopted them that I really embraced the mantle of the mental health challenges that I had. Because I said if I had to go through them, I felt blessed in the sense that it helped me to be able to better relate and better support them and understand what they’re going through.

Irwin: On your podcast, how do you keep fresh stuff flowing?

Stroughter: It’s like “Law and Order,” ripped from the headlines of my life. So whatever is going on in my life, you will hear about it. … I talk about OCD. I talk about the low frustration tolerance. I talk about a lot of different things, and I’m very open, very vulnerable, because I don’t think that you can have these conversations without that transparency in yourself.

I think other people, as we talked about, look at you on the outside, as kind of pretty put together, pretty articulate. “Well, you don’t seem like you’re mentally ill.” And so it is to give it a face of, as I said, the people that you worship with.

If you’re in a congregation of a couple hundred, then you’re dealing with 50 people. Who are those 50? Could you name them? You probably couldn’t because they don’t look any different than you do.

Irwin: If someone’s listening to this today, Marie, and they think they or someone they know is struggling with mental health, what are your parting words to them?

Stroughter: Well, first of all, I would be there for that person. Let them know that you are there, if you really are there. …

But if it is a situation where someone is making statements about self harm or those sorts of things, there’s 988, the suicide crisis line. …

There are online support groups. There are Christian support groups. There are Christian mental health counselors. So if you find that you are in need, or know someone who is in need, urge them to get professional help and get diagnosed.

B.T. IRWIN directs and hosts The Christian Chronicle podcast. He and his family live in Clawson, Mich., and are members of the Rochester Church of Christ in nearby Rochester Hills.

Filed under: ADHD Christian podcast Dialogue Features Mental Health Mental illness MoMo 634 Top Stories