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Ten heavenly interviews I’d love to snag

Here at The Christian Chronicle, we enjoy telling the stories of modern-day faith heroes who overcome difficult circumstances.  
If there’s a Heavenly Herald, I intend to pursue a few additional interviews.
Ten exclusives I’d love to snag in heaven and the questions I’d ask (some serious, some tongue in cheek):
1. Joseph: How awesome was that fancy coat that your dad gave you? I never quite mastered the original Hebrew, so can you tell me if the coat was really multicolored like Fruit Stripe gum? Or did the flannelgraphs from my childhood get it all wrong?

When you ran from Potiphar’s wife, did anyone time your speed? Did you join a track team after that?
After all the trials that you experienced, you forgave your brothers. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives,” you told them.

Was there any part of you that wanted to throw them in a cistern like they did you? What role did God play in softening your heart?
2. Elizabeth: When your husband Zechariah refused to believe that you’d conceive a son in your old age, God prevented him from speaking for months. Be honest: Did you enjoy the silence?
Tell me about John the Baptist. How difficult was it to clothe and feed him as a boy? Or did the camel’s hair/leather belt/locusts/wild honey/etc. come later?
3. Rahab: You were a prostitute, right? How does someone in your position end up hiding the Israelite spies and finding favor with God? What motivated you?
You kept living among the Israelities. Is it safe to assume that you turned from your wicked ways?
Your faith is praised in Hebrews 11:31, and you are described as righteous in James 2:25. Given where you came from, how humbling is it to be mentioned alongside names such as Abel, Noah and Samuel?
4. Zacchaeus: How shocked were you when Jesus looked up and made direct eye contact with you? Did you just about fall out of the sycamore tree?
Did you intend all along to give half your money to the poor and repay times four anyone you cheated? Or did coming face to face with Jesus inspire you to do that?
What do you think of being referred to as a “wee little man?” Ever want to beg someone to write a new children’s song?
5. Ruth: After your husband died, you left all that you knew and moved with your mother-in-law to a foreign land. You gave up your god in favor of her Almighty God. Why?
In your darkest moment, you had no way of knowing how your life might turn out, but you chose to do what was right in the sight of God, and he blessed you. Were you surprised at all by that?
Did Boaz snore?
6. Criminal on the cross: So,  you’re nailed to a tree and say, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Were you serious? What did you see in Jesus that the crowd did not?
“I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied,  “today you will be with me in paradise.”
Did you have any idea what he meant? Were you astonished when you made it up here?
7. Esther: You were an orphan and an exile. Your resumé didn’t exactly scream “future queen.” How surprised were you when King Xerxes chose you?
When the plot to destroy the Jews emerged, you feared approaching the king. But Mordecai persuaded you to consider God’s will. “Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” he said.
How big an impact did those words make on you? Did you ever stitch that famous quote on a pillow?
8. Philippian jailer: A violent earthquake shook the foundation of the prison and threw open the doors. In the dark, Paul and Silas had a perfect chance to escape. Instead, they shouted to let you know that no one had run away.
“Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” you asked. What did you mean? Were you speaking in physical or spiritual terms? Were you surprised when Paul and Silas proceeded to share the Gospel with you and your family?
Just out of curiosity, any idea what the quake measured on the Richter scale?
9. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego: Were you not a little worried about being thrown into the furnace?
What did it feel like? Warm at all? How in the world did you survive without a single hair singed?
You were portrayed in a VeggieTales video called “Rack, Shack and Benny.” Have you seen it? Realistic or cheesy?
10. Onesimus: It’s believed that you were a slave who ran away from his master, Philemon, and stole from him.
Were you? And did you?
Paul encouraged Philemon to welcome you back and forgive any wrongs. Did he? The reunion: awkward or amazing?
By the way, where could I find Philemon? Think he might be up for an interview?
Bobby Ross Jr. is Managing Editor of The Christian Chronicle. Reach him at [email protected].

  • Feedback
    Just a thought, ’bout Rahab . . . . Prostitutes, in Canaanite cities (and other places) were members of the temple staff dedicated to some local god or goddess. They were accepted, possibly respected, members of their society. Any “wicked ways” she turned from would be turning from pagan deities to the Living God. Just a thought.
    James R. Cooke
    Altamesa Church of Christ
    Willow Park, TX
    U. S. A
    December, 5 2012

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